Struggling

I awoke this morning from a bad dream.  A dream about struggle and overcoming evil that would not die. I wondered what evil in my heart is winning a battle for my soul.  The dream gave my morning prayer more conviction, 

 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." Psalm 51:10-12 (KJV)

Later,  I found the reminder that today is Ash Wednesday.  I did not grow up in a "liturgical" denomination, and only became aware of the church calendar, surprisingly, in my music studies in college.  Much of what we know as classical music was written to celebrate the church year. 

As part of her reflection on today, Ruth Haley Barton writes "Lent is the season in which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance—in the outer world and in our own souls. . .  Oftentimes, the practice of entering into the Lenten season has been reduced to the question: 'What are you giving up for Lent?' This is a fine question but it can only take us so far. The real question of the Lenten season is how will I clear out the junk and garbage in my life so that I can be restored to God in some fresh way? What are the disciplines that will open up space for God to create a clean heart and new spirit in me?"

"What will I give up" becomes, for me, Who will I make room for?

A Prayer for Entering into Lent
I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God’s holy Word. And, to make a right beginning of repentance, and as a mark of our mortal nature,let us now kneel before the Lord, our maker and redeemer. Amen.
~Book of Common Prayer

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